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Hedge Trimmer

from Blue Sky by Nat Budin

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lyrics

I just got a spouse; we bought a fucking house
In unincorporated Snohomish county
Guess I’ll settle down, suburbanize, sell out
Slip off my college gown and be a townie
This land is fucking gorgeous, I love this fucking lawn
Surrounded on all sides by thirty feet of hedge
Which I’ve gotta trim

Where did my weekend go? I just don’t fucking know
I just went out my door to do some yard work
The next thing that I see, the sky turned black on me
All these gorgeous plants are fucking hard work
How do these fucking yuppies own these fucking lawns
There’s just got to be a better way

When you’re feeling shitty cause your hedge is all fucked up
There’s just one thing that you can do
Go buy yourself a Black and Decker PowerCut
Show those plants the one in charge is you
With a hedge trimmer

Can you believe my hedge? It’s got a perfect edge
I’m outside with my trimmer every morning
The neighbors look my way, and glower as they say
“You really could have given me some warning”
In yard work I am baptized, my soul is cleansed anew
Mazel tov, today I am a man

When you’re feeling shitty cause your hedge is all fucked up
There’s just one thing that you can do
Go buy yourself a Black and Decker PowerCut
Return your masculinity to you
With a hedge trimmer

I ain’t got no HOA (so I gotta trim my fucking hedge)
Got a 20-foot driveway (so I gotta trim my fucking hedge)
Neighbors come by every day and then critique my hedge on Facebook

I just looked out my door - no neighbors anymore
And winding down the street, a trail of bodies
I heard a piercing yell, just like a hound from hell
My yard was overrun by fucking zombies
And in that very moment, I knew what I must do
I went to the garage and found my friend

When you’re seeing zombies creeping through your neighborhood
There’s just one thing that you can do
Go buy yourself a Black and Decker PowerCut
And keep your brains inside of you
With a hedge trimmer

credits

from Blue Sky, released September 4, 2020

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about

Nat Budin Mill Creek, Washington

Nat Budin is a singer, songwriter, and producer in the Seattle area, making heartfelt comedy pop and folk music. He's also been a member of the bands Stranger Ways, The Crisis Center, and Klezmoratorium.

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