1. |
ZOMG
02:45
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When I met you, I felt like such a n00b
I didn’t understand the way you talk
You told me to DM you and I said “what do you mean?”
You said “LMGTFY, MuckRock!”
You linked me to a page on a web site
With a document I read all the way through
Eighty-three whole pages filled with tiny acronyms
And now this is what I have to say to you:
OMG, (oh my god) YMMS (you make me smile)
XTC, XO XO
ZOMG, (zoh my god), IRLY (I really like you)
GTG; TTYL! YATB, IMHO.
It’s harder to express yourself on Twitter
You have to keep your messages so short
So we abbreviate them, but in order to translate them,
You’re gonna need this FBI report
It was helpfully obtained by a reporter
With a Freedom of Information Act request
Now instead of “hi, good morning!” I can tell you HGM
And this is how I tell you you’re the best:
HAY, (how are you?) ITILU (I think I love you)
XTC, XO XO
OMZ, (oh my Zeus) IPN (I’m posting naked)
GTG; TTYL! YATB, IMHO.
IITYWTMWYKM? (if I tell you what this means, will you kiss me?)
Or maybe you’ll just tell me IIB (ignorance is bliss)
It’s hard to do a Twitter LDR (long-distance relationship)
And the TTF in this PDF is so damn hard to read
I went to go RT you in the morning,
But I found that you had linked to your FB
Where I saw you less than threeing with your IRL BF
Well, I think that I had really BBG
GBML, (goodbye my love) ICBI (I can’t believe it)
LUA (love you always), LGO (life goes on)
FML, (fuck my life) IHA (I hate acronyms)
L8R, TTFN, FOAD, GTFO.
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2. |
Hamster for a Year
03:09
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When I came to Bellingham, it felt like a constant battle
To learn this city’s unfamiliar ways
My friends back home would ask me how was it in Seattle
And after I corrected them, I’d say
Although I don’t quite fit in, I find that I’m quite smitten
I’m not quittin’, I’m admittin’ it today…
I don’t run enough, I don’t hike enough, I don’t like riding a bike enough
They don’t care, they accept me anyway
I’m not cool enough, I’m not cute enough, I don’t appreciate fruit enough
But I’m a Hamster for a year and that’s okay
The corner of West North Street and Northwest Avenue
They tell me Boston’s hard to get around in
Just get into your car and head in any old direction
Before long you’ll be driving up a mountain
I’m in constant locomotion, I’ve got a simple notion
And the ocean’s magic potion’s in my brain…
I’m not green enough, I’m not chill enough, I don’t like walking uphill enough
I’m a liberal but not in the right way
I’m not thin enough, I’m not queer enough, I don’t like drinking craft beer enough
But I’m a Hamster for a year and that’s ok
When I came to Bellingham, I had some expectations
I steeled myself for months of constant rain
But everything’s so beautiful I’d come here on vacation
Make a side trip to Vancouver once again
The prospect is intriguin’, I might become a vegan
Walk a league without fatigue and never stray…
I’m not hip enough or type B enough, I don’t like using PCs enough
I don’t even know how roller derby’s played
I don’t laugh enough, I don’t smile enough, I don’t even like Ryan Stiles enough
But I’m a Hamster for a year and that’s, no matter how I might appear, it’s just
I’m not weird enough, I’m not slow enough, I’m not pissed about GMOs enough
I sometimes eat fast food on Samish Way
I’m not punk enough, I’m not hot enough, and I don't vaporize pot enough
But I’m a Hamster for a year, I’ll even try the beer
I’m a Hamster for a year and that’s ok
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Nat Budin Mill Creek, Washington
Nat Budin is a singer, songwriter, and producer in the Seattle area, making heartfelt comedy pop and folk music. He's also been a member of the bands Stranger Ways, The Crisis Center, and Klezmoratorium.
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